The Florida Golf Cart
By Kelly Dean
Competing with the Joneses is an old idea. It’s some inherent idea that we have to look more prosperous than our neighbors. It can be a house. It can be a car. It can even be a showy spouse or overindulged child, but it’s always about the image created. And it’s always seen as somewhat shallow but nonetheless, motivational – to some.
Almost any material or highly visible possession can be used to impress the Joneses. But I never thought a golf cart would be one of them. Golf carts are all over Florida, whether golf is involved or not. I mean, it’s a device originally designed to travel around a golf course, for Pete’s sake. Now they are in every neighborhood. Comparing golf carts is like stopping a basketball game to compare balls. No one stops a basketball game to compare balls. Who cares about your balls? I don’t care about your balls. And once golf carts began being used off the links, it has now become one of the status symbols to impress the Jones clan.
First, simply owning a golf cart for no other reason than to putter around the neighborhood is a status symbol. You would have to have a large place to keep it and some place to go in it. Many of them are in country club neighborhoods, but not all. So I’m racking my brain to try to think what you’re going to visit: Well, there’s the golf course, but that’s also right behind your house, so I’m not thinking there’s much adventure in that journey. There’s generally a clubhouse, but it’s also cluttered with other golf carts already, because they play golf there. There’s probably a restaurant or gym, but driving to or from either is kind of funky health conundrum.
I’ve seen people walking their dogs with their golf cart. The dog’s cardiologist will thank them.
Now, add to this the fact they are often accessorized. These include iPads, GPS, sophisticated stereos, bucket seats, leather, convertible tops — and I’ve seen them with Rolls Royce grills, Mercedes logos and enough horsepower to pop wheelies. Some can seat nine people comfortably. It’s like a hayride for those with a lot of disposable income. If that doesn’t make ol’ Jones green with envy, I don’t know what will.
So if you’re relocating to Florida, and have more money than you expected, be sure to put a nice golf cart on the list.
You might need to go to the mailbox.