“Escape” (for snowbirds)

“If you like Pina Coladas… (actually, a stiff L-I-T and medical marijuana works just fine)

And getting caught in the rain… (if I’m nekid and having a hot flash)

If you’re not into yoga… (no Star Wars character really bothers me)

If you have half a brain… (yeah, that’s about right… should we tile the inside of the mailbox?)

If you like making love at midnight… (the day they put Viagra in the water and raise Johnny Carson from the dead)

In the dunes of the Cape… (Cape Coral? Do they have dunes too?)

I’m the love that you looked for… (Medicare does have vision coverage, you know)

Come with me and escape…” (beach parking is $8 per hour, we have to be back at the center by dark and we’re going dutch…)

— Rupert Holmes… and some anonymous Floridian in a mobile home